Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Changing Face of Friendships

Do you remember your first friends as a child?  I have vivid memories of some of the things we did...like playing pranks to scare our little siblings!  What kind of a child would do that!

Then there are the school chums.  That's where we learn about true friends and traitors.

I've been thinking about adult friendships lately though.  Why is it that some friends are with you throughout your whole life and others seem to drop off along the way?  Nothing really negative happened to create a rift. But at some point you realize you don't have contact with them anymore.  I used to feel that if I thought of them I should make an effort to contact them and somehow try to rekindle what we once shared.  That would consume so much of my time if I actually did that.

The past several years as I've thought about people I used to spend time with and don't see anymore, I've come to realize that some friendships are just for a season.  They don't end badly.  They are just there for a certain period of time and then we move on. I've decided I'm okay with that. The time that our lives were linked through a job, neighborhood, school or church was a good thing.  But the chapter ends and new ones begin.  I can feel good about what once was and enjoy the memories.  Now we have Facebook which allows us to reconnect, but within the boundary of technology, which takes some of the guilt off those of us who feel we need to do our part to try to keep a friendship alive.

Long term, healthy friendships require a mutual commitment to invest in one another.  We have just so many hours in a day and once we've lived through more than a few decades we've rubbed elbows with a significant number of people.  Only a small number of them will become lifelong friends.  Those become precious to us!

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget." G. Randolf